Test Torture
by Lynn Jones
Summary: Liraz and Hope Tovinia have to take a Mary Sue Race Test. Are Heralds a Mary Sue race? And what do Hope and Lriaz think of these questions? sort of a tie-in to Desert Sunrise.


**I apologize ahead of time for any strangeness. I found a reference to a Mary Sue test in a fanfiction, Googled it, found a Mary Sue race test…and immediately thought of the Heralds. Now I'm going to make Hope and Liraz take the test!**

**Disclaimer: I own only the Heralds. Riella belongs to T'Reilani.**

A small orange technorganic raced into an empty room.

"HELP!" she yelled. No answer. "Riella, this is your author's fault!"

She can't hear you.

"Why not?"

Because this is my story, and Riella isn't in it. This test is just for you and your cousin!

Suddenly, a second orange technorganic appeared.

"What the slag?" she yelped. "Liraz, what's going on?"

"The author found a test online to see if the Heralds are a stereotypical race! Help! She's going to make us take it!" Liraz screamed. "Run for your life, Hope!" Both technorganics began running around in circles, yelling. Suddenly, Hope stopped.

"Where did the author get the idea?" she asked.

"From reading a Mary Sue character test Riella's author wrote about her taking!" Liraz wailed. Hope face palmed.

"Seriously?" Suddenly, a human girl appeared beside them.

"Hi! I'm Lynn Jones, the author! I've got some questions for you about Heralds!" she exclaimed. Both Heralds shrieked.

"We're not even supposed to know about you!" Liraz cried. The human shrugged.

"Oh, well, just answer the questions. Here's the list. Let me know what your score is when you're done, ok?" Then the human vanished. Liraz looked down at the paper that had randomly appeared in her hands.

"Well…we might as well look at this," Hope sighed. "What's the first question?"

_Are they typically stronger/faster/generally more able-bodied than other races/sapient species? +1_

_So much that even the weakest member of their race is stronger/faster/more able than most other races/sapient species? +2_

"Well, we are better than humans…" Hope pointed out.

"But Cybertronians are tons stronger than us," Liraz replied. "It doesn't count."

_Are most or all of them notably attractive by human standards? +1_

"The author doesn't really describe us that much," Liraz murmured. "Do you think we're attractive by human standards?"

"Why would I care? Humans are so…squishy," Hope snapped.

"Okay, so, we're still at zero. Is that good or bad?" Liraz asked.

"Shut up and read the next question," Hope muttered.

_Are most or all of them on par with or even more attractive than the most attractive humans? +1_

"No! We just went over this!" Liraz shouted.

_Are they typically more intelligent than other races/sapient species? +1_

"I don't think so…I've seen some pretty dumb Heralds…" Hope murmured, glancing sideways at her cousin. Liraz shot her a dirty look and kept reading.

_Do they typically have amazing mental/psychic/magic powers that most other races/sapient species lack? +1_

"No!" Liraz growled.

"Actually…wouldn't our battlesuits and our abilities to repair Cybertronains count for this one?" Hope pointed out. Liraz scowled. +1 for Heralds.

_Are all or most of their senses superior to the senses of most other races/sapient species? +1_

"Does being able to run scans and sense sparks count?" Hope inquired.

"Well…the scans and stuff is from our technology…it's not really a sense…and sensing sparks would come under 'amazing mental/psychic/magic powers', don't you think?" Liraz countered. Hope scowled.

"Do you want us to end up labeled as a Mary Sue race?" she snapped. Liraz shook her head.

"Of course not! But not counting it would be cheating," she replied calmly.

"We already counted having amazing 'mental/psychic/magic powers'," Hope reminded her. She scowled some more, then shook her head and read the next question.

_Is their spirituality and/or morality presented as superior to that of most other races/sapient species? +1_

"Um…most of us…we are pretty awesome…" Hope murmured.

"Now who wants us to end up labeled as a Mary Sue race?" Liraz grumbled. "Besides, we only have less crime and such because memory wipes and banishments and such are our typical punishments. No one has ever broken our laws twice because of that. That's not morality, that's harsher punishments."

"And common sense," Hope added.

_Have they moved beyond superstitious/irrational behavior/beliefs found in most other races/sapient species? +1_

"Um…does believing in Primus and the Matrix and stuff count as 'superstitious/irrational behavior/beliefs'?" Liraz wondered.

"I think so," Hope answered glumly. +1 for Heralds.

_Are they completely or mostly free of what we consider human vices, ie, greed, selfishness, racism, sexism, etc? +1_

"Um…no…that's how we get our offenders…" Hope sighed.

"And anyone who thinks Heralds aren't selfish, greedy, or prejudiced hasn't met Cero or the Dolt," Liraz added helpfully. "Or the lovely Cadets who keep the Forges running with punishment for minor offenses, or the Masters who have periods of blank memories from when they showed behavior unbefitting of their station."

_Do they have little to no trouble with food and/or material shortage compared to most other races/sapient species? +1_

"Darn…should have seen this one coming," Liraz sighed.

"We almost never have a food or material shortage because our planet is practically made of the stuff we use, and we can eat about any plant or animal, and if we can't eat, we can charge up on unrefined or refined energon," Hope elaborated. +1 for Heralds.

_Do they exist in perfect harmony with nature/their homeland? +1_

"Seriously? That makes us cliché?" Hope shouted. "Just because we coexist peacefully and don't ruin our planet? what race in its right mind would do anything that might hurt their planet?"

"Um…most races…Cybertronians nearly destroyed their home world in their war…and humans have almost ruined most of their world…" Liraz pointed out. +1 for Heralds.

_Are they so technologically and/or magically superior that they have virtually no rivals, yet never use their advantages to oppress others or misuse them in any way? +1_

"Well…the Transformers are basically our rivals…kind of…not that we fight them…" Liraz growled.

"Never abuse or misuse our advantages? Of course we do! There's a Cadet in every class who thinks it would be cool to try and brainwash a Guard. And then there's guys like Cero, who drain sparks!" Hope exclaimed.

_Do they have a better government and justice system than most other races/sapient species? +1_

"Um…no," Hope sighed again. "Obviously not, if we can wrongly convict you and let Cero get away. Maybe the makers of this tests should read our story, then form their own opinion instead of having us answer?"

"That's really impractical," Liraz snapped. "Just read the next question."

_Do they uphold and honor all of the same values as you? +3_

"Um…I don't know. Author? We need your input here," Liraz called.

The same human girl from before appeared and glanced at the question.

"Um…let's see…you people have no appreciation for human food…you value swords and fire and weapons in general much more than I think is healthy…I don't feel guilty and immediately try to make a Cybertronian feel better if they're not happy…probably because I've never met one…but I do value my Cybertronian characters the same way you do – well, not the _same_ way, I guess – and…"

"You value justice like we do, and you would like to step on Cero and squish him just as much as we would," Liraz pointed out. The girl nodded grudgingly.

"All right, so maybe we do share some values…but not all. Maybe half and half? Can we get half the points instead of all of them?"

"I don't think so…" Hope groaned. +3 for Heralds. "Nope. There goes our points."

_Are they impervious to things that would severely harm or kill most other races/sapient species in the story? +1_

"Uh…I don't think so…" Hope muttered. "We still die. We still get injured."

"But we do have our shields. After all, Nightbeat landed on me once and I was fine," Liraz pointed out.

"Only because of the technology, which humans are trying to develop, I'm sure. And a Cybertronian would've survived easy, with or without a shield," Hope objected.

_Are their pregnancies shorter than nine months and/or births painless? +1_

"What a strange question," Hope murmured. "But no, Heraldic pregnancies are like ten months long, and anyone who thinks births might be painless should spend some time in the delivery section of the Oasis' hospital." Liraz snickered.

"They might be deaf after that, or missing important body parts," she added. "Considering how violent new Heraldic mothers can be."

_Do their offspring develop and mature faster than that of a human? +1_

"Why does that matter? Are humans suddenly the standard of sentient life?" Hope snapped. Liraz laughed.

"This was invented by a human. Slag, _we_ were invented by a human. Of course they consider themselves the standard for sentient life. But no, we mature about the same as humans," she answered cheerfully.

_Do they have an extremely long lifespan? +1_

_Are they immortal? +2_

"Um…not extremely long…we don't live nearly as long as, say, Cybertronians. And we're certainly not immortal," Hope muttered.

_Are they virtually always great parents? +1_

"Um…no…what part of 'Heralds have flaws too' don't these people get?" Liraz grumbled.

_Do relationships rarely (if ever) end in broken hearts and/or bitter feelings, either because the love lasts forever, or because of a "free love" system in which jealousy virtually doesn't exist? +1_

"Wait a minute…having the same values as the person who created us gets us three points, but having a perfect romance reputation would only get us one?" Hope exclaimed. "That is so wrong!"

"Anyway, no, the number one cause of behavior unbefitting a Herald is bad relationships," Liraz sighed. "Next question."

_When members of this race take a stance on a particular issue, are their opinions typically or always right? +1_

"No, you're wrong all the time," Liraz said cheerfully. Hope scowled.

"Excuse me? Who's the one who took a totally conservative stance on allowing Factionist defectors to come to Heer-olde?" she snapped. "I believe that was you, before you got all warm and fuzzy with the Autobots."

_Do they point out the shortcomings of other sapient species/races, but no-one ever points out their shortcomings or is justified in doing so? +1_

"I don't think many people live long after pointing out our flaws…" Hope reflected. Liraz nodded in agreement.

"Violent tendencies is usually the flaw most people point out about us," she replied.

_Does anyone become a member of their race/species during the course of the story, and is happier that way? +2_

"Nope. We Heralds are very exclusive. No other species has the biological ability to operate fully integrated battlesuits. Plus part of being a Herald is where you were born and who your parents were. You can't train as a Herald or become a Herald unless you were born a Herald," Hope said proudly.

_And/or adopt all of their values and ideals, and is happier for it? +2_

"Um…sort of…the Colonials have very similar ideas to ours," Hope sighed.

"But they already had those. That's why we let them stay!" Liraz pointed out. Hope grinned.

"Good point!"

_Does a convert denounce his/her previous lifestyle as barbaric or wrong in front of his/her former people/race/peers? +1_

"Of course not! We don't associate with other races much!" Hope scowled.

"And what parts of 'no actual converts' did they miss?" Liraz put in.

_And convince his/her former people/race/peers that his/her new life is the correct choice? +2_

"NO CONVERTS!" both Heralds roared together.

_Do you want to become a member of their race/species? +1_

"Um…author, we need you again on this one," Liraz called. The human girl appeared again and laughed when she saw the question.

"Do I want to be a Herald? No. I don't like the desert," she giggled.

"You're really strange sometimes. Last question, also for you," Liraz said, rolling her eyes.

_Do you think everyone ought to want to become a member of their race/species, or at least adopt their ideals? +11_

"So basically, do I think Heralds are the best race ever and everyone should be one?" the girl grinned. "Absolutely not. That would ruin you all. So what's your tally?" Liraz and Hope looked back over their questions.

"Seven," Liraz answered.

"It says seven is 'Probably not a Mary Sue Race," Hope added helpfully. The author scowled.

"Shoot. It was the same-beliefs thing, wasn't it? Maybe I should change some ofg you people's core beliefs…" she vanished again, leaving Liraz and Hope suddenly panicked.

"I really don't want to see what she changes…" Hope whispered.

"Me, neither," Liraz agreed under her breath. Suddenly, the author appeared again.

"Don't worry! You're staying the way you are! I like my Heralds as-is!" she laughed. "See you next story!"


End file.
